I’ve missed you all dearly, and I’m sorry for neglecting you. I miss sharing our struggles and smiling in success. 

today I binged after a healthy lifestyle for a bit now. I feel terriable. Almost 2000 pizza/candy/chocolate calories. 

how do I feel okay. 

He made me hate myself, he apoligized but, still. His obsession with beautiful women did it to me. and he’s not willing to give it up. I’m miserable, and hes to blame.

but I’m pretty sure i’d be even more miserable alone. what to do what to do.

because i sware, i’ve declared a start to a better, healthy, skinny me. but I’ve given in to failure so many times.

I just want to be happy.

mini--minnie asked: This isn't really a question, I just wanted to say, WOW. you look so amazing it's unreal. So very, very jealous :P

my heart <3 love yooou

lilywantstobepretty asked: Such a great blog. A+ really.

:] thankyooou

Anonymous asked: what do you want your body to look like at the end?? like the girls in your pictures are all different sizes so im just wondering which one you most wat to look like.

honestly, i just want to be happy. I couldnt tell you the exact size. the exact weight. i dont know. i just want to look in the mirror, and be able to smile at my reflection. The first time that happens, will be the best day of my life so far

life-ap asked: Hello! I saw that you were a cosmo! I am too and I wanted to know if it ever got hard for you to eat healthy? That's when I gained the most wait when I became a cosmetologist. Eating only when I can and what I can. It was mostly fast food.

always. the same thing happened to me when i got in the salon. that is where my heighest weight took place. what i try to do now is pack my lunches before work and bring them with me. cottage cheese, it comes in like, single serving yogurt cups too so thats easy, and healthy and filling. i would make a veggie stir fry i can just pop in the microwave for 45 seconds. bring a small handful of nuts in a little sandwhich baggie so your not too tempted with the snacks in the break room - my girls always had chips and dip,or leftover cake from a party they had back there and were baggging you to eat some. 

you could also make your own salads, and bring low fat low cal dressings. just the best option is pack - so you know exactly what your eating.